so, i can't write too long but wanted to type out some ponderings... i find it so interesting how in american christian culture we kind of paint this glorious picture of foreign missions, how it must be so exciting, etc. and it definitely is that, but i'm also beginning to see that there is some discouragement and hard times as well. that being said, i feel that after being here for a couple weeks now, i'm in this wierd place with the older kids. when i was just here for a week in november, i was considered a 'friend'. and coming back it was the same, the older kids would help me with my creole, always fighting over who got to sit next to me, etc. yesterday was the first time since coming here that i've had to act in an authoritative manner and it was hard. now i find i'm caught in this wierd place of not really being the friend anymore but also not being a true authoritative figure here... for those of you who know me well, you know that i hate the thought of someone not 'liking' me and i'm there, but i also know that there must be respect as well. i asked doris if she wanted me to take that role and she said she definitely did... so i'm not sure where to go from here and just a little disheartened. i love that preteen/teen age group and i love being their friend and want to be a mentor to them as well. so, i guess i'm just going to be praying that the Lord works it out... thanks for your prayers and encouragement. love, jill
***just an addition though, please don't think that i'm not still glad to be here, i truly am and God is still at work! it's just 'one of those days'! :)
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Jill,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you acted in love. By the way, it is part of what happens as we give ourselves to leadership. We have no way of controling how someone else receives our reprimand, or, correction. However, we are responsible for making tough decisions. And that is the job of a disciple afterall.
So just do the "right thing" and developer a tough love and a tougher skin.
Lots of love,
From another old meany,
Dad
oh jill, how i understand! that is a daily struggle at my job! just know that at the end of the day, it is more important that they know you love them and care about them more than anything else. and if that love and care manifests itself in an authoratative/reprimanding way, then that is ok. you are teaching and showing them how to act and behave appropriately and in a respectful manner. and sometimes - no! - most of the time, kids at that age need a LOT of redirecting!! you are still their friend while you are redirecting! and since you are in haiti so much longer, they will have more of a chance to see and realize how much you love and care aboout them even though you have to be authoratative at times. you're doing good my friend! they still love and like you - i promise!!
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